Knowing your learning style...for school, work...and dating  

We all know that we’re born with certain characteristics – perhaps dark brown eyes, maybe curly hair, a certain skin tone.  But many don’t realize that we also have certain preferences for how we learn and relate to people.  How we learn is important in all aspects of life, not only in school.  How we learn also directly connects with how we relate to people.  Here’s a very quick version of a much more complicated study.

Most of us learn best by one of three methods – by seeing, hearing or feeling (there are actually eleven ways but the three here are the easiest and most obvious to understand in terms of connecting with each other).

Some people are visual learners.  They learn best by seeing – watching video, reading, using maps, writing.   You can tell visual people by the way they talk with their hands (They can ‘see’ themselves talking and by the words they use like, “I can picture that” or “I see what you mean!”)

Others are auditory learners.  They learn most easily by hearing – either their own voice or someone else’s.  They often are the ones that are humming, tapping with something or who love to talk. 

Motion and emotion is what kinesthetic or hands on learners like best.  They like and need to touch and be active to learn.  They’re often in trouble in school because of their need to fidget and move. 

Want to know what you are?  Take the short learning styles test here.

So how does this apply to how we relate to each other?

If the person you want to connect with is visual, make sure you give them something they can see - a gift and a card.  Or do something for them.  Fill up their car with gas.  Clean something that they usually clean.  Write them a real letter.   This doesn’t have to just be a special someone on Valentine’s Day but anytime you want to communicate with someone who is visual.  You need to do something that can be seen if you want to impress the visual person – the significant other, the friend, the sibling, the parent, the child. 

If they’re auditory, make sure you tell them how you feel about them.  If you just give them a card, they’ll feel neglected and unappreciated.  It may be your way to feel special, but it’s not theirs.  So give them a music CD or an iPod..  Or record your voice with a personal message.

If they’re kinesthetic, make sure you hug them or hold their hand so they’ll feel how you care for them.   For them words often go in one ear and out the other, so make sure they feel how much you care.   Give them the gift of a massage, a gym membership, or something else that involves touch or the physical body.





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